i'm finding these things out

that i won't figure things out
that nothing i think i know i truly can know
that God is far bigger and superior and infinite that i can't even comprehend it
that i've only begun to scratch the surface of His plans for me
that what i think is actually going on may not be what really is

that God wants me to just be

be still
be patient
be in the present

not worry about the past
not worry about what i've done
not preoccupy myself with things that i have no control over
not preoccupy myself with what next week holds when today is slipping by

to live
to love
to learn
to lead
to follow
to teach
to breathe

to be

Soul Cravings

To give up on love is to choose a life that is less than human.
To give up on love is to give up on life.
-Erwin Ralph McManus

I'm a Junior?

yup.

i am.

this is kinda weird.

and i got a car now.

that's even weirder.

headed home tomorrow.

back to work at 9fruits on saturday.

summer is here.

and i'm not done with it until august 23.

looking back

I'm putting together the final set list for The House of my sophomore year

Who would have thought that age 19 I would have been in charge of something this important

Really it's beyond me how I made it here

Couldn't tell you how or why or any of this and how it came to be but I'm here

And I'm eternally grateful

Like for real

I don't deserve any of it

But I've been given this opportunity to play music and lead others in worship

I screw up daily just like everyone else

But when it comes down to it I have Tuesday nights

These nights I just forget all the crap that Satan tries to wear me down with

I got a guitar

My voice

A top notch band that could play with any body

And I just worship

It took me awhile to get to that point

But I think I'm there

Joe pointed it out to me last Tuesday that my countenance on stage had changed

And honestly I just realized how nothing else matters

Joel Houston says, "I kinda feel like I don't know anything except the one thing. If we can just understand the one thing then maybe that's all that we need to do..."

I think I fully understand this finally

I can't wait till Tuesday...

stressful days ahead?

paper today

paper tomorrow

paper monday

workbook fridays

exams two weeks out

nope. still not stressed yet.

today was really cool. myself, daniel, justin, rapp, and mark all did homework on the second floor (only one with fully functioning AC and new bed [couch] until it is fixed) and listened to hours of Sigur Ros. pretty much a balling evening.

life is gettin pretty good. and it is all in the little things

it would be an understatement

to say that i am excited for tonight. It's amazing how much i love Tuesdays. I've been away from leading at The House for three weeks now and I'm so ready to get back up there and lead. And I have a pretty sick set list if i say so myself.

its amazing

it's amazing how one trip can change your life

-I was able to travel to the Caribbean island of Hispaniola to the country of the Dominican Republic. We worked in villages in the Barahona district which is on the western coast of the country of the country, right near the border the country shares with Haiti. Because of the proximity to its neighboring country, many refugees have crossed the border into the DR. It is no surprise that a majority of the kids we worked with in the villages were Haitians.

it's amazing how much nothing matters any more

-when i say that i mean that in the sense of all our excess stuff. The kids taught me so much, so much that i thought that i already knew. I understood that the things we have we are a luxury and we could totally be fine with out it. But even stuff that I would consider to almost be a necessity (shoes, clothing, adequate food and water) these kids barely have them, and yet they are by far more happy then we will ever be as a country. I'm so used to having everything in an instant. For example, right now the Ohio State game is not on tv, so I have it streaming live on my computer. At any moment I can communicate with anyone I want with the touch of a button. These kids don't have any of this, but at the same time are so much more loving, giving, and happier than i have ever been.

it's amazing how God works in places we aren't familiar with

-I heard and saw God so much more clearer than i have living here. His beauty was so imminent and so much greater than i have ever seen. From the first sunrise i saw to the last shoreline, everything just rang out with God's beauty. I remember DBurke had us do a quiet time on the bus driving to the COTN offices. He advised us not to listen to our iPods on the way over because what good was it to have some one else singing out our song. He asked us what song we would singing instead. From this came my first song I've ever written (that's a big deal considering that I've tried for years to write music but seem to never finish or ever get close to finishing one and in the matter of minutes God spoke one to me).

it's amazing how God grows old friendships and gives you new ones

-I had so many friends that i knew on this trip and each one i feel like i know so much better now. Also i created new friendships with people who i don't know i would have gotten to know without the trip, and some of those i feel like i've known them for years.

it's amazing how God is going to work through my life because of these events

-i've seen a broken nation. i've seen third-world poverty. i've seen violence that wouldn't happen in the states. i've seen how God still shows up in these situations.

my song:

so i'll sing the song of your salvation

and praise the name of the one true love

my one true love

with every breathe in my i'm singing

for the glory of my King and Lord

the glory of You, Lord

as the waves crash over me

when darkness is all i see

i know You are with me Lord

in the face of death my fears will cease

in the pains of life, I am free

cuz i know You are with me Lord

-3/10/2010

i can't sit idly by anymore and be the same...